


Haven't Had Enough

by Gwendolynn_C



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Future Fic, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, Song fic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 16:15:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6914245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwendolynn_C/pseuds/Gwendolynn_C
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hook-up. Teammates. Fuck Buddies. Boyfriends. Friends. Hook-up. Derek Nurse and Will Poindexter have cycled through just about every relationship type possible. Three years after graduation, do they have a chance to be anything other than awkward exes?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haven't Had Enough

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Haven't Had Enough](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/202108) by Marianas Trench. 



> The title comes from the Marianas Trench song of the same name, as it was prompted on my tumblr by an anonymous. My tumblr is holsters-eyeglasses.tumblr.com come visit me there!

“I just don’t think this is the best thing for either of us.” Nursey had proclaimed, like he was the judge-juror-prosecutor of their almost relationship.

Dex didn’t have time for this, he needed to call his Mom back and give her the list of people who he wouldn’t tolerate at his graduation party next month. It wasn’t a conversation he was looking forward to having, he could imagine it now: No, Mom, I _don’t_ care if Aunt Margery sent me birthday cards every year since I was born, last week she publicly denounced me on Facebook, called me a slur and told everyone I was going to hell. I know you want to support me so please don’t invite Aunt Margery or Cousin Gemma or Great Uncle Jim or, or, or…

“Fine, whatever Nurse.” Dex grabbed his hockey bag and headed to the door. “I don’t even care anymore; this whole farce is more drama than it’s worth.”

* * *

Sometimes, Dex wondered what it looked like to the rest of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team. He was a nice person, a good person, a coolheaded person but Nursey made him act like a total dickhead. He hadn’t been expecting to get to freshman orientation and see Derek Nurse in skinny jeans and a Samwell Men’s Hockey shirt leering at a short boy in a rainbow bowtie (the kid was probably a theater major, he was all smiles and grans hand motions and over-the-top flamboyance).

He hadn’t expected to see Derek Nurse ever again; the kid was rich and damn good at hockey and he could have gone anywhere. Why did he have to come to Samwell, Dex’s only real option? It was like a nightmare met a wet dream and gave birth to a horrifying reality. If he had _known_ that Nurse was going to attend Samwell instead of the eight other colleges he was spouting about during their Frog Tour, he wouldn’t have slept with him.

* * *

Dex knew what he wanted in life: he wanted to play hockey, graduate college with a sensible degree, get a job right away, get his own apartment a reasonable distance from his parents’ house, and come out and live a normal life. He had a five year plan and it basically hinged on staying on good terms with his parents until he was financially independent. His parents (probably) wouldn’t disown him when he came out but it would definitely cause drama. Drama that Dex wanted to deal with in the most adult way possible. So he was happily married to the back of the closet for now.

It sucked.

Or rather, it didn’t.

Being closeted was practical and completely unsatisfying but Dex was creative, he made it work. He made sure that his parents had commitments the weekend he was going to tour Samwell, he made sure he would have the car, he made sure not to act gay around the hockey team because Samwell was 1 in 3 according to the far corners of the internet but that definitely didn’t include the hockey team.

Derek Nurse was a surprise. A nice surprise. A satisfying surprise. He was gorgeous and yeah, he talked a lot of bullshit but his tongue was talented in other ways too.

As Dex was pulling his underwear back on, Nurse sat up in the bed, hair a total mess. “Hey, Poindexter, you want my number?”

Dex froze. “Uh, sorry if I gave the wrong impression, man. This is just a hookup.” Nurse stared at him like he was from a different planet. Dex shrugged and continued, “I’m not even out, so don’t tell anyone, yeah? I had a good time though, you give good head.”

“Chill, bro.” Nurse said flopping onto his back. “I wasn’t serious anyway, not like I’d want to see your hairy ass again.”

Which wasn’t fair because out of the two of them, Nursey definitely had the hairier ass. But Dex left it. He was willing to leave it forever – even after glaring at each other all through freshman orientation.

* * *

They shared a room during a long roadie. Dex tried to convince Lardo to let him room with Chowder instead but she said she had better things to worry about than teenage boy problems.

They hooked up again.

It didn’t make them fight any less.

* * *

In sophomore year things calmed down a little. Maybe it was because they were official secret fuck buddies with a standing Tuesday morning appointment. Maybe it wasn’t. Tuesdays became Dex’s favorite day. That was until February came and Nursey broke things off so that he could date a person who was twice as pretty Dex and also out of the closet.

* * *

Winter break of junior year was hell. He came out to his parents. He just couldn’t stand it anymore. It went… mostly well. They both cried and didn’t want him to tell anyone else. When he made it clear that he wasn’t going to do that anymore that wasn’t going to hide or lie or be ashamed of himself, they respected that. It took a couple months but they accepted him. They didn’t like that he was gay, but they didn’t hate him for it either. It went a lot better than Dex had expected.

His Mom sent him a letter, telling him that she loved him no matter what and his Dad signed the bottom. Two days later, he stood on the table during a kegster and told all of his teammates and half the Samwell student body that he was gay as fuck. He was only a tiny bit tipsy so he didn’t protest at all when Nursey reacted by pulling him off the table and into a searing kiss.

They tried dating. It was a disaster and they were broken up by summer vacation but the sex had been amazing. The dating had also been amazing, actually. They were just too different.

* * *

Senior year was poised to be awesome. September ended in tears and kisses at midnight and Chowder telling both of them to get their heads out of their asses and slow lovemaking and promises at sunrise to try again.

Senior year was actually very awesome. Finals began with tears and carefully not touching each other, even when they shared a bed. Chowder didn’t tell them what to do anymore, he just looked sad, like it was inevitable.

“I just don’t think this is the best thing for either of us.” Nursey proclaimed, like he was the judge-juror-prosecutor of their almost relationship.

“Fine, whatever Nurse.” Dex grabbed his hockey bag and headed to the door. “I don’t even care anymore; this whole farce is more drama than it’s worth.”

* * *

Dex signed with the Las Vegas Aces and he tried to keep up with everyone from Samwell even though it was difficult transitioning to the NHL and he had no time. He even kept up with Nursey who was job-hunting in New York City, ex-boyfriends or not they’d been important to each other for four years, that didn’t just stop. Right?

* * *

“Dex?!”

Will hasn’t heard that name in a while. He’d been rechristened when he joined the Aces and after three years it’s honestly surprising that he still reacts to his college nickname. Will looks up from his pizza and finds himself face to face with none other than Derek Malik Nurse: skinny jeans and beanie cap and perfect smirk and all.

“Nursey!” He stands up and pulls Nurse into a bro-hug. “What are you doing here?”

Nursey shoves him good naturedly. “Me? What the hell man? You’re in the City and you didn’t tell me?”

“I was gonna text you.” Will replies honestly. “I’m in town for some promotional things.”

“Yeah and you just decided to show up at my favorite pizza place?”

Will shrugs. “I remembered it from when I visited you for Easter in senior year.”

Nursey nods, but his eyes dim a little. Like he’s remembering when he’d dragged Will here when they’d been dating. Like he’s remembering just how painful every single one of their breakups had been.

Will shakes his head to clear it. “Want to join me? We could catch up.”

“Nah, I bet you’ve got stuff to do. You’re all famous now, doing promotional stuff in the New York City, wow. Your Dad must be proud.”

“He is.” Will kicks the chair opposite to him, opening it up for Nursey to sit in. “But I got in a day early so I could do some sightseeing. I don’t actually have anywhere to be until tomorrow. Come on, have lunch with me.”

Nursey hesitates.

“Unless you’re busy.” Will adds, suddenly unsure. “I don’t mean to impose or anything.”

“No I’m- I’m not busy.” Nursey grins. “Give me a second to buy a slice and then we can catch up.”

Nursey is doing well for himself. He and three of his friends own a rec center with over fifteen programs, most of them geared towards queer kids and helping them find jobs, get into college, find therapists, start their transitions – basically offering them the help that their parents should but often won’t. Nursey runs all the athletic programs, one of the programs on poetry and spoken word, and tutors four kids in English and Literature. He also ghost writes, which he calls his “day-job” despite doing it at any hour of the day.

“Shit man, you sound busier than me.” Will tells him. They’re walking through central park now, enjoying the warm weather.

“It’s great. I love it.” Nursey’s grinning wider than he’s ever seen before. He’s put on a bit of weight since their college days, he’s softer in the middle but broader in the shoulders. He has a full beard now and looks like a proper hipster. It’s completely unfair.

“I can tell.” Will replies. “Listen, next time you do a fundraiser tell me. Running those programs can’t be cheap and I’d love to help out.”  

It’s still weird, having money and being able to actually _help_ causes that he believes in. It’s a major change from hearing about or reading about good causes and wanting desperately to support them, to push that donate button, but not being able to.

It’s even weirder to talk about money with Nursey, to be in a position to financially help someone who used to be far better off than him. But Nursey just claps him on the shoulder and says, “Thank man, I appreciate that.”

They continue to walk through the city and it’s amazing how easily they can fall back into old patterns with none of the old bad habits. Nurse brings up the President and they still have some political differences, but they don’t argue. They share opinions and respect each other’s perspectives. Will’s hand brushes against his as they walk, it shoots electricity up his spine, but it doesn’t drive him crazy, he stays in control. They swap news about mutual friends, how Jack and Bitty’s adoption process is going; how Tango’s doing at grad school; how Holster is back at Samwell as the new assistant hockey coach. It’s nice and sweet and sends butterflies going in Will’s stomach. There’ve been a couple guys since college, but none of them made him feel like this. He feels alive and like he belongs and like nothing is more important than right here, right now and talking to his best friend.

Nursey invites him to dinner with his friends. Will goes along happily. Nursey’s found a good group of people to be with. He meets Sharon and Avery who work with him at the rec center and some other folks too. Rob swears his isn’t a hockey fan but asks for an autograph for his boyfriend and Will happily gives it to him. Will likes playing for the Aces, he likes his team and he doesn’t mind the area but he has nothing like this. Nurse is happy with his friends, they share food and casual touches and inside jokes and so many stories that it’s hard for Will to keep up. Just when he feels like he’s totally floundering though, Nurse squeezes his leg under the table, just above the knee. He looks up and Nurse is just smiling encouragingly. It’s more of a comfort than he thinks Nurse realizes.

“I think I should get going.” Will says eventually. “I have commitments early tomorrow. It was nice to meet all of you, though.”

“I’ll go with you.” Nurse says. “I’ve got some writing to do at home, so I should be on my way.”

It takes them a long minute to say all their goodbyes, between hugs and exchanging numbers and promises not to be a stranger, to let them know the next time he’s in town and to visit whenever he likes because Dawn has a nice couch. It feels familiar even though Will is sure he’s never felt anything like it.

“Which hotel are you staying at?” Nurse asks once they get outside.

“I went to that pizza place hoping I would run into you.” Will confesses. He’s never been good at timing his random spurts of emotional honesty. It had driven one of his ex-boyfriends, Andy, completely batty. Nursey’s used to it though.

Nurse smiles, a bit smug and a bit knowingly. “I figured. Why didn’t you just text or call? Hell, why didn’t you mention something three weeks ago when we skyped?”

Will shrugs. “I guess I was afraid you wouldn’t want to see me. I mean, we haven’t really seen each other in person since the Duan wedding. And that went… so well.”

They’d hooked up in the coat room because everything about them was a cliché. Fortunately Will’s boyfriend at the time hadn’t been at the wedding but the following break-up had still been very ugly.

“Yeah but that was years ago.” They’re quiet for a moment, just standing in the streetlights. Nurse rubs his beard thoughtfully, “Want to come back to my place?”

Will nods and Nursey lead the way.

“I miss you.” Will tells him when they exit the subway.

“What am I supposed to say to that?” Nursey replies and that hurts more than any hockey injury he’s ever had – even the time he’d had to go to the hospital he was bleeding from his nose so much.

“This is me.” Nursey says outside a slightly run down looking apartment building. Will grabs his hand before he can climb the stairs.

“Derek do you even want me to come up? Because I can just call a Uber and-”

Derek cuts him off with a kiss. Will’s hands come up automatically, cupping the back of his head and pulling him closer.

“Fuck Will,” Derek whispers against his mouth, “This is such a bad idea.”

“Not _such_ a bad idea.” Will counters. “We’re older now and we’re both single, right?”

“Yeah.” Derek says, kissing him again, hands trailing down his sides and resting at the small of his back.

Will pulls away and smiles when Derek tries to chase him. “Look, we always started things badly. But I miss you and I still want you and not just- I want all of you, Derek.”

“I miss you too.” Derek admits. “And fuck, I want you so badly.”

Will can’t really say much to that, he just pulls Derek back in with one hand and grabs his ass with the other. The kiss is slow and deep and hot, the result of an entire day spent remembering what four years of pining felt like.

“Take me upstairs.” Will breathes in Derek’s ear, biting at the lobe then pressing kisses down his neck, biting at his clavicle. Derek lets out a low moan in response, it seems that Will has remembered all of his most sensitive spots.

Derek pulls away and holds Will’s shoulders, keeping them an arm’s length apart. Will presses his mouth into a firm line and holds back a whine.

“You’re right, we are older.” Derek says. “I’m almost twenty-six, I’m trying to be a smart, practical adult and then you show up and… Haven’t you had enough of this? Of us? Of the back and forth and on again, off again?”

“Have you had enough?” Will asks, looking Derek over slowly. “Because it doesn’t look like your cock agrees.”

“Why do you have to be such a dick?” Derek shoves him.

And this is more the familiar, this brings him back to every argument they ever had, every time they bickered and went to bed and let sex be the stand in for healthy communication. It’s not something Will wants to repeat.

“I’m sorry!” He says quickly, and he probably sounds too desperate but fuck that he _is_ desperate. “I’m sorry, that was immature. I was good all day though, right? I’m trying to be an adult about all of this too. Look, I missed you and I signed up to do this promotional thing tomorrow because I wanted an excuse to see you. I almost chickened out so I didn’t text you but I was so, so glad you showed up at the pizza place. Because I miss you and I wanted to see you, to just see how we were with each other. And, dammit Nurse, you’ve only gotten more attractive. You’ve built this awesome life for yourself and I admire you so much. And maybe the timing was just wrong in college, we were both stupid and too hotheaded. But I want to try again. And I know that you live here and I live in Vegas but my contract’s up after this season and who knows where I’ll get traded or if I’ll retire and I don’t even care about hockey! I know I’m doing this in a very non-traditional way, but this is me asking you to please try with me one more time. Because we’re older and better and smarter and I never stopped loving you and I just want you. I want to be with you. Please.”

Nursey’s looking at him like he’s simultaneously the most beautiful and terrifying thing he’s ever seen.  “Holy shit, Dex.”

Dex just shrugs, all his words are gone. He’s exhausted and leaning slightly against Nursey’s hands.

“Holy shit, Dex.” Nursey repeats and pulls him into a kiss, it’s soft, more gentle and tender. Which Dex appreciates because he feels like he’s about to break and Nursey’s the only one holding him together.

Nurse pulls away and pulls him inside. “This might the stupidest, best thing we’ve ever done.”

“Here’s hoping.” Dex doesn’t think he’ll stop grinning anytime soon.

 

**Author's Note:**

> In case you're worried, I'm still working on the Wooing verse. I just woke up this morning, set out to fill a couple tumblr prompts and five hours later here we are. This fic isn't a part of the Wooing verse either.
> 
> Comment telling me your thoughts? This is kind of a new style for me and it came out kind of all at once, so I'm curious to see if it works well or not.


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